My brother flew out of town this afternoon. He’s off to start a new life on the other side of the country. When I’m feeling selfish, as I’m wont to do, I feel sad about it. He’s one of my best friends; he’s my rock. Our family is severely dysfunctional–I know, I know. Whose family isn’t? But we tend towards the extreme side of the spectrum. He was really all I had when we were growing up, and although he’s my younger brother, I also feel rather maternal towards him. So this lump in my throat, it’s a result of empty nest syndrome plus losing close proximity to my best friend.
However, there is so much to be excited for, when I think about this opportunity life has handed him, that is. It’s truly amazing. It’s a testament to how talented he is, and how much he has to offer. He will grow so much from this experience, and that’s never a bad thing. He will also offer me amazing discounts and other benefits and the Disney freak in me loves that. So while I’m sad, I’m also happy and excited.
With everything that has been going on lately, I feel like it’s knocked down several walls with which I’ve surrounded myself, both throughout my life and in the past few months. Something I’ve really wanted was also something I denied that I wanted. No more. I don’t know if I can have it, but I’m through pretending I don’t have that desire. I want to live honestly. And it feels pretty good. I feel free, I feel light, I feel more at ease and more myself than I have in some time.
Last weekend I asked the Universe for something, and it’s manifested several times this week. This asking, believing, and receiving thing blows my mind. Has it really been this easy? I suppose it has. So we’ll see if I get that thing that I want. I still need to become clear on it, and I’m still working on doing that. But it’s exciting as hell.